Apparently we have between 50,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day, that’s one thought every 1.2 seconds, which is a lot of thoughts. But of these thoughts, only about 2,000 are unique - still a lot of thoughts but also evidence that we are masters of recycling. As far as I know there is no collective noun for thoughts. For what it’s worth I think of a group of linked thoughts as a “train.” Unfortunately, in many cases our metaphorical trains of thought run away out of control, travelling in endless, pointless and frustrating circles that do not help us get to where we want to go in life. We’ve all been there. Somebody looks at you… you think he doesn’t like you… that’s because you’re too fat… because you eat too much… because you’re a slob… you eat because you’re bored at work… and your boss hates you, because you’re too fat… and so the train keeps hurtling along that well-beaten track to nowhere.

Many people’s perception of the power of thoughts is encapsulated in the famous Descartes' quote “I think therefore I am.” If we consider our thoughts to be our identity then we surrender our control over the translation of thoughts into feelings leading to actions and ultimately outcomes and impacts, part of the chain identified by Emerson in the opening quote. Descartes’ famous dictum can be profoundly dangerous if we take it to mean that everything we ever think somehow reflects our deepest selves. Taken to its logical conclusion, this means that we must be a mass of contradictions as all people’s thoughts and mindsets sometimes scale the heights of nobility while at other times plummet into the depths of banality or worse. The incontrovertible fact is that we are NOT our thoughts – if we were how would it be possible for us to step back and observe these thoughts? 

We observe our thoughts and let go of them much of the time because it is impossible to translate everything we think every day into feelings… there simply isn’t enough time. What I am proposing here is that we consciously cultivate our innate ability to observe our thoughts so that it becomes a habit that we can draw upon as and when we need it; thus enabling us to effectively decide which thoughts are useful to us and which ones can be discarded. 

One way of achieving this is a pre-emptive strike, is by “getting into the gap” between thinking and feeling. There are many ways of doing this; one of which I outline in my blog Cultivating Stillness – Control, Alt, Delete for your Bodymind. Another technique I find really helpful, and which I outline here, was introduced to me by from Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) expert, life coach and “head fixer” Ali Campbell. I call it decoupling your trains of thought. 

Ali describes this form of meditation “for people who suck at enlightenment!” as the single most powerful exercise he has done to improve his life… That statement certainly made me sit up and listen as it comes from a man who has a deep understanding of a rich smorgasbord of life-changing techniques. Below is a summary of this simple but very powerful exercise. 

• First find a reasonably quiet place. 
• Set a timer for five, ten or fifteen minutes. 
• Close your eyes if it is safe to do so. 
• Allow a thought to come to you as it surely will. Acknowledge it as a thought about a thing. For example, oh there’s a thought about washing the dishes, do not attach any meaning to this thought – there is nothing you can do about the situation at this time.
• Let this thought go, and another thought will come to mind. 
• Acknowledge this thought as a thought about a thing and let it go. 
• Keep with this process until your time is up.

When you first start doing this you will probably find that the thoughts come thick and fast. Ali Campbell likens it to a dam bursting and unleashing a torrent of thoughts. But over time you will find that the thoughts flow more slowly, as if you are sitting by a river bank observing the thoughts gently flowing by. 

Once you have ingrained this practice into a habit you will know at the deepest level that you are not your thoughts. It is now clear that you are the observer of your thoughts. It is as if your thoughts are the trains that leave a busy station all night and all day. You are now free to decide which trains to take and when and where to take them. You no longer have to jump from train to train but are free to go where you want to go because you have the choice. 

Ali Campbell (2010). A Caring Compassionate Kick up the Arse. Hay House.

Surely nobody’s life is so frenetic that they can’t find just sixteen seconds a few times a day to recharge their batteries.

As detailed in the blog post Appreciative Inquiry and the Power of Negative Thinking… we are programmed by millions of years of evolution to go into  fight or flight or “survival mode” when we feel that our emotional needs are not being met. One way to overcome this unresourceful state is to observe the thought. I outline a useful way of disengaging from your every thought in my blog post – Decoupling Runaway Trains of Thought. 

Another way, which I will discuss here, is to remember to breathe! Of course all of you reading this blog have been successfully breathing for your entire lives so this advice may seem a little pointless. Of course I don’t mean breathing in just any old fashion; what I am referring to is conscious slow and deep breathing... a skill that most of us do not cultivate. Witnessing your breath provides a wonderful pattern interrupt so that you can step out of the drama and emerge with a new sense of clarity. 

There are various breathing techniques that we can use for this emotional reboot. The simple practice I will describe here is based on the work of meditation teacher extraordinaire Davidji. He calls it Sixteen Seconds to Bliss. If 'Bliss' sounds a little New Age to you then feel free to call it Sixteen Seconds to Clarity. It is like a mini meditation for those who think that they cannot meditate or simply feel that they don’t have the time. Even those who do meditate every day can benefit from this short time-out when life’s day to day struggles appear to be overwhelming.

While this is a great technique to use in stressful situations, initially it is best to practice it when you are in a calm, relatively quiet space. In this way you can ingrain the habit so that it is available to you when you need it most. 
All you need to do is follow these simple steps.

• Close your eyes if it is safe to do so.
  
• Now try to think a stressful thought which I am sure is not too difficult for most of you. 
  
• Then relax your tongue and rest it on the floor of your mouth. According to psychotherapist, integrative health-care specialist and author Dawson Church relaxing your tongue tells the body that you are safe so there is no reason to go into survival mode. I for one have been unable to hold on to stressful thoughts when my tongue is relaxed in this way. 
  

Then breathe as follows:

• 0-4 seconds: Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose and from your belly to the count of four, placing your awareness on your breath as the air enters through your nostrils and slowly fills your lungs. Breathing through your nose enables you to breathe deeper than if you gulp air through your mouth. 
  
• 5-8 seconds: Hold your breath to the count of four while remembering to keep your tongue loose and on the floor of your mouth.
  
• 9-12 seconds: Slowly and gently breathe out from you belly and through your nose to the count of four, continuing to observe your breath as it is released upwards and outwards. 
  
• 13-16 seconds: Hold your breath to the count of four, all the while keeping your tongue relaxed. 
  
• Return to regular breathing

I doubt that you were able to maintain the stressful thought. 

In only sixteen seconds you can reduce your blood pressure, slow your pulse rate, suppresses stress hormones, elevate your growth and sex hormone levels, and bolster your immune system; and when practised regularly the effects last considerably beyond those sixteen seconds. Once it becomes a habit you can use this simple tool inconspicuously during most stressful situations, enabling you to step back from chaos and into a resourceful state. Of course it will not always be safe or convenient to close your eyes but the open-eyed version is also very effective. This technique can be used during a toilet break to great effect but for us guys I don’t recommend it while standing in front of the urinals!

Davidji. The Path to Bliss. Huffington Post Healthy Living (Accessed 7th February, 2014).