Things I do… except when I don’t (TIDEWID) #3. Decoupling Runaway Trains of Thought

So that we can sort the wheat from the chaff

Circular and repetitious trains of thought or jumping to confusions

Apparently we have between 50,000 and 80,000 thoughts per day, that’s one thought every 1.2 seconds, which is a lot of thoughts. But of these thoughts, only about 2,000 are unique - still a lot of thoughts but also evidence that we are masters of recycling. As far as I know there is no collective noun for thoughts. For what it’s worth I think of a group of linked thoughts as a “train.” Unfortunately, in many cases our metaphorical trains of thought run away out of control, travelling in endless, pointless and frustrating circles that do not help us get to where we want to go in life. We’ve all been there. Somebody looks at you… you think he doesn’t like you… that’s because you’re too fat… because you eat too much… because you’re a slob… you eat because you’re bored at work… and your boss hates you, because you’re too fat… and so the train keeps hurtling along that well-beaten track to nowhere.

I think therefore I have a thought: We are not slaves to our thoughts

Many people’s perception of the power of thoughts is encapsulated in the famous Descartes' quote “I think therefore I am.” If we consider our thoughts to be our identity then we surrender our control over the translation of thoughts into feelings leading to actions and ultimately outcomes and impacts, part of the chain identified by Emerson in the opening quote. Descartes’ famous dictum can be profoundly dangerous if we take it to mean that everything we ever think somehow reflects our deepest selves. Taken to its logical conclusion, this means that we must be a mass of contradictions as all people’s thoughts and mindsets sometimes scale the heights of nobility while at other times plummet into the depths of banality or worse. The incontrovertible fact is that we are NOT our thoughts – if we were how would it be possible for us to step back and observe these thoughts? 

We observe our thoughts and let go of them much of the time because it is impossible to translate everything we think every day into feelings… there simply isn’t enough time. What I am proposing here is that we consciously cultivate our innate ability to observe our thoughts so that it becomes a habit that we can draw upon as and when we need it; thus enabling us to effectively decide which thoughts are useful to us and which ones can be discarded. 

Decoupling your trains of thought – breaking the link between a thought and a feeling

One way of achieving this is a pre-emptive strike, is by “getting into the gap” between thinking and feeling. There are many ways of doing this; one of which I outline in my blog Cultivating Stillness – Control, Alt, Delete for your Bodymind. Another technique I find really helpful, and which I outline here, was introduced to me by from Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) expert, life coach and “head fixer” Ali Campbell. I call it decoupling your trains of thought. 

Ali describes this form of meditation “for people who suck at enlightenment!” as the single most powerful exercise he has done to improve his life… That statement certainly made me sit up and listen as it comes from a man who has a deep understanding of a rich smorgasbord of life-changing techniques. Below is a summary of this simple but very powerful exercise. 

• First find a reasonably quiet place. 
• Set a timer for five, ten or fifteen minutes. 
• Close your eyes if it is safe to do so. 
• Allow a thought to come to you as it surely will. Acknowledge it as a thought about a thing. For example, oh there’s a thought about washing the dishes, do not attach any meaning to this thought – there is nothing you can do about the situation at this time.
• Let this thought go, and another thought will come to mind. 
• Acknowledge this thought as a thought about a thing and let it go. 
• Keep with this process until your time is up.

When you first start doing this you will probably find that the thoughts come thick and fast. Ali Campbell likens it to a dam bursting and unleashing a torrent of thoughts. But over time you will find that the thoughts flow more slowly, as if you are sitting by a river bank observing the thoughts gently flowing by. 

Once you have ingrained this practice into a habit you will know at the deepest level that you are not your thoughts. It is now clear that you are the observer of your thoughts. It is as if your thoughts are the trains that leave a busy station all night and all day. You are now free to decide which trains to take and when and where to take them. You no longer have to jump from train to train but are free to go where you want to go because you have the choice. 

Reference

Ali Campbell (2010). A Caring Compassionate Kick up the Arse. Hay House.