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InSpiral Pathways
Aligning passion & process to facilitate positive change 
in international, organisational, & personal development

Why we Think and Act the Way we Do: The Six Fundamental Human Needs as the Basis for our Unique Dispositions

17/10/2017

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​We are all individuals

In Monty Python’s Life of Brian, the eponymous hero exhorts the adoring Judean mob to think for themselves because “you are all individuals”. “We are all individuals” shout the mob in unison! Like the mob, we can easily ignore the fact that we all have different needs, aptitudes, inclinations and personalities as we follow the herd or try to mould others according to our preconceptions. I feel that it is imperative that we get to know ourselves as we make our way in the world so that we can grow to live in alignment with our unique disposition. There are a number of personality tests out there that can help us in this regard. I am a big fan of the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) which is probably the best known of these instruments but, in my opinion, it is not simple to grasp without a fair bit of homework. A similarly powerful yet more intuitive and relatively straightforward schema is Tony Robbins’ six human needs framework. I have used this framework to understand my own aptitudes and those of the people I work with as part of a strengths-based approach to personal and organisational development.
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Tony Robbins has built on the work of John Burton and Abraham Maslow to develop human needs psychology. In essence, Robbins believes that everybody’s actions are driven by the need to fulfil one or more of six basic human needs. By definition, these are needs that we all share, but everybody is unique so we do not value all needs equally. Different people will emphasise different needs and this emphasis often shifts as we go through life.
The six fundamental human needs are as follows:
  1. Certainty – that things will unfold as imagined.
  2. Uncertainty – that life will serve up its share of variety.
  3. Significance – the sense of being special or unique.
  4. Love and connection – the feeling of togetherness or intimacy.
  5. Growth – the feeling that we are making progress.
  6. Contribution – that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. 

​Unpacking our six human needs

​I describe each of the needs in more detail below, including ways in which they can be met in healthy, neutral or unhealthy ways and some positive and negative personality traits that accompany each need.  I also provide details of a simple self-test that can be used to your pinpoint your human needs centre of gravity.

1. Certainty

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​Despite the exhortations of Bertrand Russell and Benjamin Franklin, everybody needs a level of certainty in their daily lives. If my next meal was not guaranteed I would probably not be writing this blog; if the ground beneath you started to shudder you would immediately stop reading this blog; and if heard that your significant other had been rushed to intensive care you would mostly likely drop everything and do whatever you could to try to help. All these situations threaten our sense of certainty, those things we take for granted that form the bedrock of our lives.

We all have the need for certainty but this need can be met in many different ways. Some feel they need a home to be certain, others need a million pounds to be certain, others may get their need for certainty by knowing that they always manage no matter what. We can meet our needs in positive, neutral or negative ways. For example, we can meet our need for certainty by feeling angry about world events which validates our belief system that the world sucks. Cigarettes, alcohol and drugs can be our faithful friends upon which we rely in times of struggle. Habitual actions like this meet our needs in the short term but have long term negative side-effects. We can meet our need for certainty by having faith in a something bigger than ourselves – God, the Universe, Nature, Justice, etc., or by exercising regularly or by a belief in our resourcefulness, all of which can be very positive ways of getting certain, assuming that our sense of certainty is not tainted by bigotry.
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People whose primary need is certainty are often highly organised, dependable and very knowledgeable in their chosen field. On the other hand, they can become stuck in their old routines, can be closed to new experiences, and may come across as unenthusiastic and boring.

2. Uncertainty

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​“Variety”, as the cliché goes, “is the spice of life” so a life of complete certainty hardly fires up the proverbial taste buds. Imagine you are a sports fan and you knew that your team was going to win every match and lift every single trophy they contested for the rest of your life. Initially, this would feel exhilarating but pretty soon you would begin to “tire of winning” to paraphrase a certain President Trump. So, we need a combination of certainty and uncertainty in our lives. Our need for both certainty and uncertainty explains why the standard Hollywood movie format is so popular and enduring. We are pretty certain that there will be a happy ending but we are uncertain about how the plot will unfold. We can get variety in positive ways such as by meeting new people, by taking on new challenges or by visiting new places. We can also meet this need in negative ways such as by taking new drugs, having multiple sexual encounters or by committing acts of violence.
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People whose primary need is uncertainty are often highly enthusiastic, spontaneous and love meeting new people and taking on new challenges. They can also be social butterflies flitting from person to person and relationship to relationship, become easily disillusioned, lose focus and quit before the job is done.

3. Significance

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​The third human need is significance – that need to be, in José’s words, “a special one”. All of us want to be recognised for being special even if some of us protest this fact. One way to feel significant is by building something such as a business, a skill, a career, a philanthropic practice or a family. Another is by knocking down those who are trying to build something, either metaphorically through cynicism and negativity, or physically by attempting to damage or destroy people, property and nature. As Tony Robbins puts it “there are two ways to have the tallest building in town. One is work your ass off, take risks, build the tallest building. The other is, blow up everybody else’s building.” One path is easier, faster, cheaper and takes less intelligence. One is the path of the hero, the other is that of the victim. A third, and very common, way to feel significant is to have a significant problem. Problem sharing also builds connection. Some people are much more comfortable being around people who are feeling bad about themselves than being around people who are happy with their lives.

The need for significance has always been one of the main driving forces behind violence, mainly perpetrated by men. If a mugger puts a gun to your head they are certain that you will respond but uncertain of how and, in a heartbeat, they have become the most significant person in your life.

Although we all need significance, the need is usually greater in men than women. Men will die for significance which explains why almost all suicide bombers are men and why much greater numbers of men than women commit suicide when going through a financial crisis.

If we meet three of our needs in a single behaviour we may become addicted to that behaviour. Which explains why violence can become an addiction.
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People whose primary need is significance are often happy to take on leadership positions, will work hard to excel in their chosen field and can be fearless in the face of challenges. They can also be selfish and insensitive to the perspectives of others, and may neglect their nearest and dearest.

4. Love/Connection

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The fourth need is for love and connection. When we are afraid of love for fear of the pain of rejection, we settle for connection. Unless you are a highly developed soul, our hypothetical mugger is unlikely to be a recipient of our love as he puts a gun to our head, but he will be connected to us in the moment. So, violence can also meet the need for connection.

In a more everyday sense, when we are excited or agitated about something – we got that promotion, heard a juicy morsel of gossip, or experienced a life-changing event, what do we immediately want to do? Share the news with somebody. This is because we are social animals, even the most introverted among us.

Love and connection is often a dominant need in women. Men feel this too, but the bonds are innately stronger in the average women than the average man.
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People whose primary need is love and connection are often great team players, sensitive to the needs of others and supportive partners and parents. They can also be jealous, clingy and prone to neglecting their own legitimate needs.

5. Growth

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The Greeks taught us that we are teleological beings, that is, we need targets – something ahead of us that we can aim for. We either grow or we shrink; staying still is not an option. Imagine you are perfectly content with your life as it is and you don’t want anything to change. Why is this an impossible dream? Because people become dissatisfied with stasis which is why retirement is a crisis for so many people. Unless they can invest themselves in a project, the newly retired person no longer has a goal that they are moving towards. This same phenomenon is exemplified in the numerous cases of Olympic gold medallists and other high level sports people who reach their goal only to fall into depression. It is pretty much universal that people are happy when they are making progress because it is the progress or growth that matters not the goal itself.

People whose primary need is growth are often great students and teachers, creative and innovative, and tenacious in pursuit of their goals. They also can become detached from others, intolerant of those perceived to be less accomplished, and prone to perfectionism.
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As a side note, perfectionism is widely thought to be a positive quality which it can be if it is defined as a commitment to high standards. However, if perfectionism means that everything we do always has to be all things to all people it becomes the lowest possible standard as we end up imposing unrealistic expectations on ourselves and everybody else. By this definition, perfectionism is a straightjacket and a sure fire way to succumb to a paralysing fear of failure which relegates us from a participant to a spectator in our game of life.

6. Contribution

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We all have a need to contribute, to step out of our own personal drama. Even young children feel a great sense of satisfaction when they contribute. There are countless examples of people being able to do much more in the service of others than one can do when serving only oneself – the meals we cook for ourselves are usually pretty uninspiring compared to those we serve up for others. An example from my life is doing everything I could to secure my children’s future when my wife was diagnosed with motor neurone disease – part love and connection, part contribution. On a grander scale, Nelson Mandela’s fortitude during his 27 years in captivity was bolstered by his vision of how he could contribute to a free South Africa. The secret to living is giving. How can you make this world a better place using your gifts and talents?

A focus on contribution is a great inoculation against the “Affluenza” virus , the obsession for wealth, fame, beauty, power and possessions that redirects our energies and passions away from meaningful pursuits.
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People whose primary need is contribution are often selfless leaders, inspirational speakers and are able to work tirelessly in pursuit of something they believe in. They can also be intolerant of other people’s perspectives, neglect their own physical and mental health and the needs of their family, and are prone to burnout.

What are your primary human needs?

Understanding our human needs helps us to know which needs we habitually meet, which needs are not being met, which needs we want more of, and conflicts and trade-offs between meeting some needs at the expense of others. This understanding also helps us in our relationships of all kinds as we become less judgemental by acquiring a fuller understanding of the factors that motivate other people’s aptitudes, attitudes and actions.

You can assess your human needs with this online test devised by Chloe Madanes who has worked extensively with Tony Robbins to advance the thinking in the field. The results include detailed information on how your primary need and top two needs can serve you or hold you back. You can take the same test in the old fashioned paper format by clicking on this link.
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For those of you who want to know, I scored highest in contribution closely followed by growth with significance and uncertainty tied for third place. love and connection a little behind, and certainty bringing up the rear. Like all self-assessments, the tacit assumption is that we know ourselves which is, of course, never 100% true but the simple test can give us a fair the forces that drive us.

References

  • Burton, J. J. States of equilibrium. (Crown House Pub, 2003).
  • Fredrickson, B. L. Love 2.0: creating happiness and health in moments of connection. (Plume, 2014).
  • James, O. Affluenza: how to be successful and stay sane. (Vermilion, 2007).
  • Madanes, C. Relationship breakthrough: how to create outstanding relationships in every area of your life. (Rodale ; Distributed to the trade by Macmillan, 2009).
  • Maslow, A. H. Toward a psychology of being. (Martino Pub., 2010).
  • Myers, I. B. & Myers, P. B. Gifts differing: understanding personality type. (Davies-Black, 1995).
  • Robbins, A. Awaken the giant within: how to take immediate control of your mental, emotional, physical and financial destiny. (Pocket, 2009).
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The Humble Project Management Toolkit Part 8: Learn Constantly and Embrace Uncertainty

1/9/2015

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In the eighth and final part of the series on the humble project management toolkit for better results in an uncertain world, I describe the fifth and sixth of the toolkit’s ‘compartments’ – “learn constantly” and “embrace uncertainty.” In the section on learning I outline four learning modes and emphasise the value of learning by doing and learning by teaching. In the section on embracing uncertainty I give examples of the positive consequences of developing a mindset that sees silver linings in the clouds of failure, and I outline some key components of a “navigation system” that helps us overcome the fear associated with uncertainty.
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    John Mauremootoo

    John Mauremootoo is a consultant with over 20 years of experience in diverse aspects of international development.

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